Anytime, Any place, Anywhere

I'm 40. I'm in a relationship and I'm a huge fan of sex. I mean a REALLY big fan. I think it's quite common so I'm not going to pretend I'm unique here, but there are sections of our society, heavily sanctioned and covered by the media, that would have you believe that we women are not supposed to like it that much, that we will make excuses and do what we can to avoid it. With an element of guilt I will say that I sort of believed that hype for a lot of my adult life, but it turns out my not wanting sex very much was more to do with being unhappy and in an unhappy relationship, rather than me not liking sex. Since leaving that relationship at 36 I have learned that I am in fact a very sexual person and that this is a very important part of who I am.


It is for this reason that I somewhat laugh at those opposing voices to the No More Page 3 campaign who like to assume those of us fronting it to be, in some way anti sex or asexual, that we don't "get it", whatever "it" is, this human need for sex, for sexual imagery or titillation. This frankly ridiculous and completely unfounded allegation, you might be surprised to hear, comes interestingly, from both ends of the opposition - sexist men and anti-NMP3 feminists alike.


I'm not going to make any attempt here to answer the ridiculous cries of the misogynists who presume any woman to be jealous or "not getting any" if they oppose page , frankly why would I waste my time, but I will take a little look at the other naysayers, those who suggest that No More Page 3 is a) anti sex b) anti-sex worker and/or c) slut shaming


A. Page 3 and images like it, in no way represent my sexuality. Actually, I would also go as far as to say that they don't represent much of female sexuality as a whole certainly not that of any of the women I know, love and have had those kinds of talks with. But having grown up with this image, initially in my home and later more peripherally, I now realise that at least in some ways, I felt it was supposed to.


For a chunk of my adult life, at least part of me felt that this posed, pouting, availability, this overt sexual readiness, was what I was supposed to present, supposed to enjoy, or more importantly provide. Don't get me wrong, my confused sexual identity, just like everyone else's is complex and cannot be blamed on page 3 alone, but I do feel that, at least to some degree, these pictures lie at the root of my sometime inability to not only ask for what I wanted sexually, but to even consider I might want something at all. In contrast, so ingrained was the idea that sexuality meant being sexy that when my relationship was struggling and my soul crying out for sexual connection, I took up pole dancing (in women only classes), I watched YouTube videos of lap dancing and perfected it, thinking this would make me the perfect sexual being.


It didn't.


It's a lie.


Page 3 and its ilk lied to me about sex. They taught me that my job was to provide sexual entertainment. Sex is so much more than that. For me it is a visceral connection with myself and eventually with others that required me to know myself so much better. Sexy was and still is something I could turn on and off like a tap and whilst I have enjoyed that feeling at times, it has little or nothing to do with sex itself, which is a much bigger adventure, a journey I am still enjoying exploring.


B. Sex workers. In all honesty the issue of prostitution and how it should be handled by the law and state is an area of feminism I have taken care to view from a distance. I have avoided engaging on it, not because I don't care but because I felt that it was so contentious and so polarising an issue, which my lack of any knowledge and experience on the subject could add nothing to. To some extent I still feel this way. I am not for one moment going to sit here, from my cross working/middle class hybrid social position, with the privilege of never having been truly, scarily poor or unemployed, with my background of a loving family home and try to tell women who have or are working in the sex trade how their area of work or their abuse (depending on how they view or feel it) should be managed.


Having read what I've read and heard what I've heard on panels and at conferences it seems to me that every story is individual to every person. If a woman feels she was abused, coerced and raped then she was abused coerced and raped, but if she is standing in front of you telling you, with a look of total conviction, that she has chosen to do this, has given her consent to a financial transaction for sex, then who am I and who are you to take that bodily autonomy away from her. If we do that aren't we violating her ourselves? As I say, I'm not sure there are easy answers and I'm not going to debate it any further here. I will continue however to read, to listen and to learn. Some of what I mention from here on however, considers a position where sex work might be legalised.


I don't know where the "sex worker" label begins and ends, but much like any other label, it would seem to me it should only be bestowed by the person themselves. If a woman working on a telephone chat line identifies as a sex worker then I'm happy to consider her as such, but another, self-employed as an escort, or indeed a survivor, is not happy with that label and I'm certainly not going to give it to her.


Do page 3 models consider themselves sex-workers? Has anybody asked them?


Whatever laws may or may not be in place regarding prostitution and whatever we decide is the best way to manage it, I would never suggest sex workers be prosecuted for their part and likewise I would not suggest that glamour modelling, whether it is or isn't sex work, should be made illegal in any sense. NMP3 have been very clear about not directing the campaign at the models or suggesting glamour modelling is in itself inherently wrong.


It seems to me the crux here though, in both cases, would be context. Be it glamour or sex work, surely there has to be some sensibility about where this exchange happens? Whether it is the consensual exchange of sex acts for money or the consensual display of sexy pictures I would suggest both should be private affairs. Whatever changes were implemented, if we were to legalise brothels then surely we would never tolerate their being advertised in news media or in the middle of the 10 O'clock news. The line would surely be drawn before leaflet dropping outside school playgrounds or advertising billboards on city high streets. Likewise it would seem fair to suggest that sexual images, soft porn or "glamour" shots not be featured in news media.


There are many trades with which we set limits for many reasons, limits about when and where they should take place (the selling of alcoholic drinks and gambling to name two examples) and it would seem a fairly distinct line that sexual images and services, like sex itself, remain largely private. The alternative exposes those not wishing to consume these services whether they liked it or not and makes it impossible to protect children from the overt sexualisation that we know to be damaging. Not being clear about this line perpetuates the notion that all women are open to sexual comment or are sexually available and puts other women at risk. Blurring this line in media risks trivialising serious and at times horrific news with titillating images that undermine the seriousness.


So all of this brings me to C - slut shaming. I am going to assume that this stems from the notion, backed up by research, which shows that exposure to sexualised images can change the attitude of men towards women, can lead to them viewing women as objects rather than people and that this can then in turn, lead to them treating women as less than human.


In terms of "objectification" Page 3 has special significance. Whilst sexualised images of women may, as we have acknowledged, have a place (such as adult, top shelf publications or specialist websites) having them in a newspaper changes the context and meaning completely. Instead of having to seek out an image for sexual titillation because that is what you want, it is placed in a news media as though the provision of a woman for sexual titillation is a given, akin to a crossword, it is a normal thing to expect to have with your news, your breakfast, in a café, on a bus etc. and a normal thing to expect those around you to accept and accommodate no matter where you chose to open that page.


As a consequence for many people our exposure to page 3 occurs often at work, as children or teens in our own homes and in other public places. It is such a potent image that it also gets used to bully women, as a tool for sexual harassment and can lead young girls to see the glamour industry as the easiest path to success and fame.


In terms of the connection between Page 3 and rape and sexual assault, this is not a direct connection and the campaign has never made any claims that it is. There is no suggestion that Page 3 models or Page 3 pictures cause the rape of other women. Page three does not cause rape; rapists cause rape, they and they alone. Sexual images of women in mainstream media however, are a contributing factor to a society which allows women to be yelled at and harassed on the street, assaulted in bars and clubs and raped and assaulted as often as they are.


One of the major stumbling blocks to understanding this connection is the misapprehension that rape is committed by men with twisted, dark minds who are psychopathic strangers lurking in alleyways. These select "others" are evil and have no connection to the people we know. Sadly the truth is that rape, in most cases, occurs within relationships. In 90% of rapes the rapist is known to the victim/survivor.


If we accept rape as exactly what it is - sexual acts committed without consent then it is easier to see that it is a crime which doesn't necessarily require a psychopathic mind, all it requires is the ability to dismiss the choice and voice of the woman (or indeed the man) and to exercise the control that some men may feel is their right. This right is reinforced daily by images of women in our environment that paint them as passive sex objects, voiceless, penetrable, and defenceless and ready for you to act upon. Unless there is a firm message elsewhere in a man's upbringing, peer group etc. this message may have a profound affect for some.


Very few men would name themselves as a rapist but ask the right question and you some will admit to rape accidentally.


I absolutely understand why so many take issue with any connection between Page 3 and rape and why so many cling to the concept of a daemon rapist. The reason we still see public campaigns directed at women, suggesting they change their behaviour, the reason we ask what she was wearing, is because it is somehow far easier to attribute some blame to the victim than to think so many men could commit such an unthinkable act. When so few of us know such a daemon how can this happen? Very few of us, men or women would admit to having a friend who could be a rapist but if you consider more pointed questions - "Have you ever witnessed a friend approach a woman for sex because he knew she was really drunk/under the influence of some substance", "have you ever had a friend tell you they got into bed with or had sexual relations with a woman who was sleeping or passed out", "Have you ever witnessed a friend deliberately try to get a woman drunk in order to have sex with her", "Have you ever seen a friend touch a woman in a sexual way after she has asked him not to or without invitation" how many would say yes?


I hope that for the majority the answer would still be no but I know some men and women, for whom, when thinking of friends they've had it would be yes.


Some time ago I wrote this blog about the response some men felt comfortable, not just verbalising but committing to type on the Star's page 3 page. The comments were all removed in the same week the blog came out and the ability to comment was disabled. I realise all that was written there was words, but these words illustrate very clearly a sense of ownership, of privilege over women's bodies that is being reinforced and supported for some, by the accessibility if these images in such a mainstream way.


The No More Page 3 campaign is about the way women are seen, the way they are portrayed, day-to-day, in the most prolific and mainstream media outlets, in the most mainstream shops and supermarkets. The campaign seeks to level the playing field of media coverage for women by starting with a tiny but significant bit. The ripples of the campaign reach into many areas of feminism and beyond. They have never sought to affect women identifying as sex workers or as models but no doubt they do to some degree as they seek to remove one of the most prolific and obvious springboards for glamour models. This particular springboard however, should never have been provided in the first place. This was never the right place to present women for consumption. There may well be a time and a place for everything but this isn't and never was it.

 

Grandad's last journey: When full time care provides so much more than care

My Granddad was a big tall, handsome man. He was opinionated and loved an argument, so much so that some avoided him in the pub, he would argue black was white and would never relent even when presented with factual evidence to the contrary. 

They say the bigger they are the harder they fall and this intelligent, infinitely caring and generous man was first diagnosed with dementia in 2008 and slowly but surely slipped away from us. "Bunt", as he was always known to friends, didn't have the more commonly talked about Alzheimer's, he instead had vascular dementia, caused by problems in the supply of blood to the brain. The condition often follows a 'stepped' progression, with symptoms remaining at a constant level for a time and then suddenly deteriorating and this was certainly our experience as a family. We would just grow used to a new set of circumstances, only to have that change suddenly and a whole new set of problems present themselves. You can read more about vascular dementia here.

As a daughter and granddaughter it was truly horrible watching this man being slowly lost and getting more and more frustrated and less aware of his limitations. Perhaps the only thing more difficult was watching my Mother, his main carer, endeavouring to cope with an increasingly unreasonable, depressed and at times aggressive man, who haunted her every waking and sleeping moment, occupying the body of her father. It would be impossible in a few short words here to fully describe the horror and weight of the situation as it ended up, in Granddad's last few weeks and months at home or the burden that this placed on Mum; but suffice to say there was not a moment in which she could rest, not an hour of sleep that wouldn't be disturbed by rumblings, shoutings, cleaning up of urine and excrement and the need to call out an emergency plumber to another blocked toilet filled with used incontinence pads. 

In the end so relentless and thankless was it that he would often break into verbal and sometimes physical abuse of her, particularly at night when "end of tether" had long been exceeded. My mother's mental health and that of my step-father were suffering irreparably and yet despite growing physical frailty Granddad was still essentially physically fit and able.

Care from community carers (private) and district nurses offered minimal assistance but nowhere near enough to ease the relentless 24/7 burden of care. Eventually, after an attempt at emergency respite ended after 4 hours - a care home with full staff being so unable to cope that they saw fit to send Bunt home once again to the care of my exhausted and distressed mother - I stepped in. A consultant and social worker visited the following day and arranged an urgent slot on Bestwood ward at City Hospital, so that Granddad could be properly assessed in a fully equipped psychiatric care environment. 

It was clear from very early on in his stay that Bunt's needs were such he could not be cared for in a home environment or even in an average care home or nursing home. He eventually received a "Section 3" meaning his full care should be provided for under continuing care and paid for by the state. A place was found at Landermeads care home in Chilwell.

Landermeads was originally a small nursing home like many others and I had worked there myself for a short period as a care assistant in the early 90's. It was my experience there that had led me to train as a nurse, but since this time Landermeads had become far more. It is now a series of homes, each offering unique care, and it was The Meads, the home's specialist dementia wing, which found a spot for Bunt. He had visited the home one or two afternoons per week for some time before his hospital stay and had "hit it off" immediately with owner Rob, developing an immediate respect for him. When the time came for Granddad to move there permanently many of the staff knew him already and he was given the warmest of welcomes. 

I think many families and those of advancing age are understandably fearful of placing a loved one "into a home" and often feel it is somehow a failure or a form of neglect in itself. This is wrong. Nobody can provide care on their own for 24 hours a day, relentlessly and indefinitely to anyone. When the subject of that care is often unreasonable, unwilling to help you or themselves, bigger than you, aggressive, violent and a stranger to you in every respect apart from their appearance, the task becomes all the more insurmountable. How will you care when you have not slept, how will you care when you cannot even meet your own basic needs without having to leave them alone for a short while, how will you cope with your resentment of this stranger in your relative’s body who has been evil to you almost incessantly for hours of days of months? What will you do when you are on your knees with emotional and physical exhaustion?

Landermeads didn't just "look after" Granddad, they gave him something that none of us could have come close to. 24 hour care. Care that allowed him to stay up all night if he was determined, care that indulged his mood there and then with activities and cheekiness and the relentless energy that only a full, shift-changing team of innovatively trained care home staff could provide. 

I often describe Landermeads as like a toddler group for people with dementia, perhaps that sounds insulting, but once you've seen it in action it is quite something. The rooms are individually decorated, they each contain chairs, dining tables and familiar items from various eras. One room has a kitchen area where residents, known as "the family", can assist in cleaning up, cooking, baking, making drinks. There is a beautiful colourful secure but accessible garden. There are laundry items, old and new books, telephones not wired up, dolls in highchairs and pushchairs. Old ladies carry teddies and bestow love like it were their child, old men carry toy tool kits and sit fiddling with bits of piping and spanners. Music from many eras plays loudly in one room and staff and patients sing or spontaneously break into dance. Craft activities or baking will be happening in one area, the TV showing an old comedy show in another. Staff don't wear uniform, they eat with the residents and at night some wear pyjamas. 

In this extraordinary environment I have rarely seen a patient distressed and if they are then instant comfort or distraction is provided. There is an overriding sense of ownership from staff and a true sense of family. When I went to make myself a coffee on one of my last visits, as visitors are encouraged to do from day one, I was struggling to find a mug; one of the staff helped saying "oh there's never any mugs in our house". It took me a moment to realise she was referring to this house, this home, this amazing place that had transformed a man distressed and sad and frightened to one who smiled, who laughed, who cheekily flirted with young carers - a home which allowed my Mum to once again be the daughter she had once been when she came to see her Dad. 

In his last days and hours we all provided a vigil at Granddad's bedside, my Mum, her brother, my step-father, myself, my brother, my children, we were all there. Barely an hour would pass without staff coming in to offer supplies to us or provide physical care but more commonly just to check on "Bunty", to say a few words, to give him a kiss and stroke his hand. When he died, we cried and they cried with us. The version of Bunt they lost was different to the one that we had known. That big, strong, intelligent and relentlessly generous man, they only saw a little of what he had been, but they loved and respected the man they knew to the very end and were all so sorry to lose him, just as we were. 

Dementia is cruel, it robs us of the very thing that makes us recognise and love our loved ones; it makes caring such a terrible burden that we are scared to admit. It can be truly awful and never ending, but, if we are really lucky, sometimes we may find a solution, a way to, not just cope with, but to cherish those last few weeks, months, years. That's what Landermeads gave to my family and I will always be hugely grateful for that.

Local activist and campaigner Lisa Clarke is running the Robin Hood marathon for Nottingham Forest Ladies FC.

Lisa is a local volunteer for No More Page 3 which is asking the editor of the Sun to drop its daily soft porn feature. The campaign are proud sponsors of the local team thanks to funds raised last year from crowd sourcing.

Lisa is a strong supporter of the partnership having lived in Nottingham all her life and now wants to help all she can to fund the teams 2014-2015 season.

 

She said – “Women’s’ sport gets only 5% of the coverage of men’s sport in the UK and this is letting down women and girls badly. Because of the poor coverage it is far more difficult to find sponsorship and funds. If we want to encourage young girls to be active we have to see more women’s sport in our press and we have to support women’s sport far more than we do. That is why I am running for Nottingham Forest Ladies FC. I want to do all I can. It makes me really cross that they struggle so much for funding when they play so well and are doing so well as a team.

 

Nottingham Forest Ladies FC Club Operations Manager Steven Gray adds "It's great to see that the NMP3 campaign has been so positive in wanting to increase the publicity of women's sport and running the Robin Hood Marathon to help Forest Ladies raise some much needed and funding only helps us do that with every member of the club bring a volunteer and players all paying subs, every penny raised via sponsorship/fundraising counts and is genuinely appreciated by everybody at the club and we can only hope to repay that on match days."

 

Please sponsor Lisa and Nottingham Forest Ladies FC so that they can enjoy another successful season and continue to train and inspire the next generation of local girls to take up the national game.

Please contact -

Steven Gray 

Club Operations Manager

Nottingham Forest Ladies FC

Tel: 07870 156 937

E-mail: steven.gray@nottinghamforestladies.co.uk

Twitter: @stevegray87 

And

Lisa Clarke

No More Page 3 team member

Tel - 07951 923436

email - NMP3lisa@gmail.com

Twitter: @LisaLouClarkey and @nomorepage3

Do you want sauce with that?

Dear Mr Wainright,




I am writing to you again as head of customer relations as frankly I am feeling increasingly disturbed by the nature of your marketing strategy front of shop, which is ensuring that increasingly I don't feel very comfortable in my local Supermarket.


Now let me be clear Mr Wainright on one thing, I am a woman of the world, I have been (how can I put this) around the block and at my age I find not much shocks me any more. I have for example wandered into Ann Summers on more than one occasion having forgotten my specs and mistaken the underweared window display for Jessops. Thankfully I recovered from the initial confusion in the "toy department" soon enough to avoid buying a highly inappropriate present for a work colleague's baby shower and was able to quite enjoy the experience, mesmerised as I was by the sheer number of multi-coloured, multi-sized, phalluses before me, who knew.


No Mr W, I am no prude and I will not have it said that I am but what I am not able to cope with is the regularity with which I now see items for.....shall we say.. "private use" marketed on offer just inside the door of your otherwise welcoming store.


Frankly it confuses me, it really does, given that in every other respect I can see a lot of thought has gone into the presentation of your shops. The layout is such that on entering, no matter for what small item I may be "popping in", I can be instantly distracted by...for example, the latest book releases, a comfy looking fleecy blanket and slippers or seasonally perhaps sunglasses and flip flops. You will then draw me in further to other "must haves" and I confess I am not immune to the charms of a nice wine, a new picnic set or even a couple of lovely puddings. But Sir, there is a limit!


I realise Mr Wainright that I am what you might now class as middle aged but that does not mean I am out of touch and I honestly think some things just aren't right for a supermarket and frankly I am somewhat tired of having to complain in your store. I am therefore writing to you a second time, appealing to your senses, as I'm afraid this weeks prominent display of a free dental dam with the chardonnay frankly took the biscuit!




Now I am a forgiving person and I can see how these things might slip through the net from time to time. Your customer services representative was as always very understanding and promptly moved the eyesore to the back of shop but it perturbs me sir that I have to keep pointing out the inappropriateness of this. So frequent is the problem that last week I spent a full 10 minutes of my shopping time discussing with a young man why it really wasn't a good idea to have "blow up dolls" with the waterwings by the door even if it was "Summer FUN Time"and only last month I had to explain to a lovely middle aged and somewhat confused shop assistant that the "Rampant Rabbits" weren't good shelf fellows with the Easter eggs as a cheeky Easter extra even if they were on BOGOF.


I had originally presumed this to perhaps be a local issue that could be remedied by some focused training of store staff but sadly I have found that this is not the case. It appears that the issue is national as I realised to my cost when on visiting a friend in Leicester I nipped into your store and they attempted to entice me with some free lube with my kumquats?!


I'm sorry Mr Wainright, I am generally not one for writing letters at all but to be frank your first reply was woefully inadequate. Whilst I accept that decisions about freebies and contents are, as you put it "decided by  the manufacturers and producers of these products" I  will not be, as you suggested "taking up my issue with them" as I have no intention of buying their goods. I am however Mr W shopping in your store and as a regular customer and whilst you may have your market reasons for stocking these things I find it difficult to understand your justification for giving such inappropriate items pride of place at front of shop. Surely this tactic risks alienating a sizeable number of your customers, particularly those with young families in tow? 


So Mr Wainright rest assured this will be my final letter. I hope to goodness you will see sense and act on mine and others complaints (I happen to know that there are many others who, equally confused and disturbed ,have also spoken out on this matter). I am now sadly giving some serious thought to taking my custom elsewhere but am sending this in the vain hope that in the future I and others will be able to enter your stores without fear of ever being invited again to purchase a strap-on with a bath bomb.


Yours Sincerely and Hopefully,




Mrs A Noyed




Dear reader - Clearly the above is fictitious but I would suggest it is equally inappropriate and none family friendly to display newspapers which regularly portray women inside and often on the front cover as sexual fodder for men on a sponsored and conspicuous stand in clear view and reach of children in our supermarkets week on week?
What's more when asked a direct question, repeptitively by customers about the supermarket's policy of displaying these pornpapers in such an endorsed fashion they dismiss concerns or continually refer customers back to the editor of the paper as you can see here.  I don't think that covers it, do you?

Page 3 Lions

It's coming soon
It's coming soon
Oh page 3's...
End is coming soon
(x4)

Been here so long it's such a bore
We've seen it all before
Boobs aren't news
And we're sure

That Murdoch's gonna
Throw it away
Say that it cannot stay
Cos society say
The time has come now...

We've all got the shirt
We've even bought the team in
40 Years of hurt
Never stopped us dreaming

So many jokes, so many jeers (Shouts of get you're tits out love)
Familiar to our ears
Wear you down
Through the years

And we can see that
Porn in the news
Women shown as just boobs
Reinforces the mood
Of street harassment

We've all got the shirt
We've even bought the team in
40 Years of hurt
Never stopped us dreaming

(4 Bars here of music with no vocals and background footy commentary - we could have the teams playing and one of us commentating saying what a shame none of this great play will ever reach the papers tomorrow)

It wasn't right then
Never will be again

It's coming soon
It's coming soon
Oh page 3's
End is coming soon
(x4)

We've all got the shirt
We've even bought the team in
40 Years of hurt
Never stopped us dreaming
(repeat to fade)

Women make the news just like men do

There's a new world somewhere
They call The Promised Land
And we'll be there some day
If you will understand
We need you to recognise us
For all we say and do
Be-cause women make the news just like men do


Each of us is someone
With so much more to say
And you could show that we are someone
Each and every day
Perhaps we could keep our clothes on
You'll find we mostly do
You see women make the news just like men do


Been a long, long journey
Since 19 70
When we've come so far
Why still page 3, WHY PAGE 3?


Sun please keep this up now
And Please don't drop the ball
If we lose this change tomorrow
We make no progress at all
But if you could  feature women
For all they say and do
For I know women make news just like men do
[Instrumental Interlude]




Just like men do, just like men do

Co-op motion

Thank you fellow co-op ,Members for allowing me to bring this motion today.

I have been a member of the co-operative for approximately 15 years. I joined when my children were little because I saw that Co-op lead the way on ethical issues - the fair trade the employment of staff with disabilities. The local co-op felt like a real community I liked the feeling of being part of that with my family.


As my children began to grow and ask questions I noticed with increasing disquiet the sexualisation of the world around them and the way it represented women.





It's a strange thing that so many don't notice but once you start to notice it it is quite horrifying - In many shops and supermarkets soft porn was at child head height. Graphic sexualised images of women staring at us as we chose a magazine or grabbed some milk. Even In my local Co-op - the Sport and Star were prominently displayed at pushchair height often opposite children's magazines, Easter eggs or advent calendars.

That has changed now and I really, really want to thank you co-op for last year recognising this issue for the important one it is and stopping the display of lads mags and the awful Sport


Co-op lead the way once again this time to reduce objectification of women and protect children.


In doing this you have addressed an issue most retailers refuse to acknowledge and having done so  I am here today to ask you, at a difficult time I know, to please consider taking a step further


Campaigns to change this situation are growing and gaining in support from groups like Mumsnet, girlguides and many more, over 45 are listed on their website.


If you look at recent covers of The Star and Sun covers are increasingly not dissimilar to those that appeared on Nuts and other lads mags. Unlike lads mags however The Sun is heavily endorsed with promotional stands and prominent display in many stores.


Increasingly there are challenges - many consumers are directly asking store managers to remove or turn papers around, the recent Page 3 v. Breast cancer cover was removed from the shelves in many ASDA stores


No matter however what the front page may display - just inside, the biggest image of a woman is one of her not for her contribution to the news but standing in her pants for the sexual gratification of men 


This image of a very young woman is not in the context of a pornographic magazine but, I would argue far more damagingly out of context.
 Normalising the presentation of women as sexual objects for consumption next to news stories.
Sold, not  discreetly like an adult publication but in a family newspaper with full display and endorsement, very prominently in family stores, supermarkets and shops daily.
Supported with the advertising revenue of ethical and family friendly companies including co-op.


I understand the draw if this big audience - a wide reaching newspaper. But next to it's news of crime, politics, sport and images of men in suits and sportswear featured for their contribution to the news, is a huge image of a voiceless, young topless woman.


What does this say about attitudes to women's place in society and what does it say to customers about the attitudes of retailers who continue to market it or market themselves in association with it?

I am, as you may have noticed a 40 year old woman of the world,
I have seen lots and lots of breasts,
I even have my own believe it or not,
I am not offended by bare breasts or afraid of my children seeing them. I am not shy about nudity.


But coop I am offended and angry that my gender, 50% of the population, are being presented  as sexualized fodder for the other 50% in a news publication. That this has been accepted and fiscally displayed by retailers and supported by the money I spend on feeding my family. Would a racist or homophobic feature be so accepted?


There is now a wealth of evidence of the harmful effects of sexualised and stereotypical images of women in the media. Of the connections between this and the ongoing harassment, violence and rape. The EU has recognised this enough to write a commission document, signed by our uk government calling for urgent change.
  

The figures on violence against women in the uk today are damning 


Co-op members I have so little time to ask for your help


and I know that we the Co-operative face so many challenges at present that need to take priority,


I don't wish in anyway to undermine the importance of that. But I would also hate if in all of that struggle the Co-op lost the thing that sold it to me and so many others in the first place.


I trust you Co-op to lead the way.


Please stop associating the Co-op's name and brand with The Sun and page 3. Please stop supporting the sexism with your/ our money and please place this clearly adult content on a top shelf

Let's be the change we want to see in the world.


Thank you.

No More Page 3 and Class War

The below is one of my favourite blogs ever to come from NMP3HQ, written by HQer Jo Cheetham it was originally shared by Vagenda in 2013. The link to that now appears not to be working so in the interests of never ever losing this masterpiece I am sharing it here.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you Jo's reply to ex-deputy editor of The Sun Neil Wallis :)



Oh, Neil. Neil 'The Wolfman' Wallis. I want to be angry with you, I really do, but I just can't be. You see, you remind me of my Uncle Mick, the one who does horrifically inappropriate, embarrassing things like calling nurses 'dolly birds' and asking women in Argos if they need a man to put up their shelves. You just constantly put your foot in it.

For example, on Channel 5 news, you stubbornly denied that Page Three could in any way damage the self-esteem of young girls, and weirdly referred to the Girlguides as 'middle class, politically correct women' whilst constantly talking over Becky Hewitt and Emma Crosby about the guides' 'lovely website' being full of 'flower meadows and cakes.' And when the No More Page 3 campaign started, you made a series of uneducated, sweeping statements about class distinctions and bizarrely wrote that we were 'scrapping furiously for the nation's attention' with badgers. It was just weird, Neil. See, I can't help but think you're a decent bloke really, who's just lost the plot a bit. I'm worried about the people you've been hanging around with. I fear that you've lost touch with reality. Let me help you, Neil.

Firstly, describing the 184,493 No More Page 3 supporters as 'overwhelmingly white, middle-class, aged late 20s-late 30s, university educated' and insisting that they 'work in academia, meejah, public services, know what macrobiotic means and how to use a fondue set, don't watch X Factor, go to Greece on their holidays, read the Guardian and watch Channel 4 News, suffer serious sense of humour loss at certain times' was staggeringly ignorant and way off the mark. Firstly, our supporters are extremely diverse - via the wizardry of social media I've encountered a real mix of them, including: young men who are ashamed of 'lad culture,' teenage girls who attend comprehensive schools, lorry drivers, dads concerned that their children will grow up to think that seeing a teenager's breasts in a newspaper is normal, Sun readers who find Page Three an embarrassment but otherwise like the paper, vicars, teachers (I could go on, but I won't, in case you become restless and start shouting at the computer about badgers again).

Secondly, don't you realise that by regarding the above traits as 'middle class' you're presuming that 'working class' Sun readers ('The Sun is a largely working-class newspaper') are the antithesis: uneducated, reality TV aficionados who lack the sophistication required to pierce a bit of bread with a fork and dip it into some cheese? Really, Neil, you're going with that? (NB: I'm not sure the middle classes have 'done' fondue since the 'Abigail's Party' era, but perhaps I'm moving in the wrong circles).

Oh! But you don't leave it there, Neil! You go on to hint that working class women don't worry about Page Three! No! They have more pressing matters at hand: 'they worry about their kids' health, the rent, putting food on the table, work, their relationship, benefits scroungers, immigration, the telly, and a drink at the weekend.' WOW! The way you get inside the heads of these working class women is staggering, Neil: William Beveridge meets Cosmo. It's good to know that the poor are too busy wiping babies' arses and opening tins of spaghetti hoops to think about 'issues.' They're too busy slagging off immigrants down the pub to worry about a silly little thing like sexism! Except that's a massive load of steaming crap, Neil. You see, the thing is, I'm working class. I was brought up on a council estate in an over-crowed, damp house. We were so poor that my dad had to make a settee. I went to an abysmal comprehensive school, where the careers advisor encouraged my bilingual sister to be a dog handler and my English teacher told me that Icarus flew too close to the sun, turned into a sausage and fell into the sea. Every house I went to as a child had a copy of The Sun on the dining table. I know what The Sun is; I was brought up with it. I bet I've known more Sun readers than you have, Neil.

Let me share a few experiences of The Sun from when I was growing up:

1) 1986 on holiday. I'm six. My mum and I were forced to eat our sandwiches on the wall outside the Haven holiday camp café, because two men at the next table were holding up Page Three and loudly talking about how they wanted to 'do that.'
2) 1992 at school. I ran home in tears after a group of builders taunted me by saying 'you'll be on Page Three when you're older and your tits get bigger.'
3) 1998 at work. A group of men in a pub I worked in compared my breasts to those of the model on Page Three, saying 'it's difficult to tell - let's give 'em a feel, then we'll know how big they are' before trying to grab my breasts while I was serving a customer.

Just because my family were poor and struggled to pay the council tax, doesn't mean that I wasn't upset, angry, embarrassed and frightened on these occasions. I doubt you've ever felt threatened by someone double your age, weight, height and strength Neil but, let me tell you, worrying that you'll never be able to afford purple sprouting broccoli really doesn't enter your head while you're terrified that somebody the size and bulk of a bus is going to assault you. Stop patronising the Girlguides by dismissing their concerns. Stop insulting us by telling us to focus on 'bigger issues.' Stop pretending that this is a class war: it's not. It's an issue of respect, empathy and understanding and, to understand the issues that affect half of the population, you need to listen to women's voices. Their actual voices, not just the ones you invent in your head as a result of too much Coronation street and Jeremy Kyle. We have nothing against glamour models. We don't object to people looking at top shelf magazines. We object to semi-naked images of very young women (printed purely for the sexual gratification of men) appearing in a 'family' newspaper alongside pictures of clothed men of all ages, shown to be actively doing things, achieving things. We object to these images appearing in newspapers that are seen on buses and trains, in workplaces, in public libraries, in schools. I can't be bothered to respond to your comment about us denying a woman 'stuck behind the bread counter at Tesco' the opportunity to find 'a new glamorous life via Page Three.' I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a biro than read that sickeningly patronising paragraph ever again.

Oh, but there is one more thing Neil: the name. I know you like going by 'The Wolfman' moniker but I've been thinking about it, and would like to suggest an alternative: 'The Shih Tzu.' You see, my friend Paul used to have a very stubborn Shih Tzu named Tinker who was tiresome, embarrassing and a bit 'yappy' and used to hide under the bed whenever it heard a woman's voice. It has a nice ring to it - Neil 'The Shih Tzu' Wallis. You're welcome.

Hello, my name is Lisa Clarke and I am a member of the No More Page 3 Campaign team.


I still love saying that and have a little laugh to myself, a small pinch me reality check every time I do. You see I'm not some high achieving academic feminist, not a politician, not a middle class busy body I am instead a Nottingham born and bred mother of 2, a nurse of 20 years from a working class background and a marathon runner (I know that's not relevant and I've actually only run one marathon but I'm rather proud of it and like to get it in wherever I can) and quite frankly I have no idea how I've ended up involved in all of this or why anybody thought I'd be any good at it.


The No More Page 3 Campaign was started in August of 2012 by Actress and Author Lucy-Anne Holmes. It was during the London 2012 Olympics that Lucy bought a copy of The Sun following ‘Super Saturday’ when lots of gold medals were won many by female athletes, she picked that particular paper because of its’ reputation for sports coverage. Whilst leafing through it she discovered that Page three wasn’t there and instead the page had been taken up by pictures of sporting achievements. Thinking the feature had been dropped as a sign of respect to the Olympians she was later dismayed to find it on page 11. The page 3 image was still the largest image of a woman in the paper that day, larger than the image of Jessica Ennis who had just won gold for her country. Lucy describes that moment as being a ‘huge slap in the face. A reminder that it’s a man’s world’. She wrote to the then editor Dominic Mohan, who never responded, and so she decided to start a petition and a twitter and Facebook page.


It was in the September that I signed the petition (link - http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/david-dinsmore-take-the-bare-boobs-out-of-the-sun-nomorepage3) myself. I can't actually remember where I saw it or who shared it but having had my own feminist awakening about 6 months before that I was in the habit of following many feminist twitter accounts and was reading and learning with a hunger, all I could on the subject.

I signed quickly and then followed the accounts on twitter and Facebook, immediately getting involved in heated debates both on the campaign's page and on my own wall. I was amazed at how controversial an issue this was, at how hard some people would argue for the right to keep this topless, sexy picture where they could access it easily with their morning toast or in their break at work. Despite this confusion about who it was that owned the boobs thee days I found many like minded friends locally and in the Autumn of 2012 we organised local demonstrations in Beeston and Nottingham town centre collecting over 600 signatures.


Although I lamented the fact that I was so far from London where so much of the action seemed to be happening, I had never particularly considered getting more involved or thought that I had anything to offer, until in January of 2013 I received the email from Lucy which invited myself along with 5 others to join her in running the campaign. Considering how overwhelming it can be I still marvel at how Lucy managed to sustain NMP3 for so long with minimal help but for the first 6 months she did exactly that. By December she was burning out very badly and the campaign went very quiet. Her invitation to join her was from the heart, from a woman that had such passion but could no longer sustain it alone. As well as being bemused as to why she had chosen somebody like me with so little to recommend me, I was also struck by how easily this inspiring woman shared selflessly what must have very much felt like her baby, so completely, with people she mostly didn't know at all, but share it she did and No More Page 3 HQ was born. We immediately began sharing the load of running the twitter account and Facebook page between us, we discussed strategy and lobbying and were alive with ideas. It was clear right from the outset that I had joined a team of women that were multi-skilled, filled with passion and who were going to completely change my life and change it they did.




Over the last 14 months I have had some amazing experiences I have driven cars overloaded with campaigners and a giant cardboard cut-out Lego page 3 girl from London to Windsor, I have chatted online and in real life with celebrity supporters, I have used skills I had no idea I could transfer from my day job and have learnt many new ones.


My years of nursing have allowed me to speak with compassion and understanding to supporters who are slowly dismantling their own experiences of sexism, sharing the unhappiness with their body or sadly sometimes sharing experiences of abuse connected with or influenced in some way by page 3. The teaching and speaking I have done at nursing study days and conferences has been swapped for standing up in a debate and talking with passion about why this icon of the sexist 70's needs to go.
Strangely a dance class I used to be involved in teaching coupled with teen years spent in acting and drama lessons has set me up beautifully to concoct crazy 1970's flash mob songs and dances, re-writing lyrics and highlighting the absurdity that this feature still exists.  I have joined team members and fabulously enthusiastic supporters from all walks of life to perform outside Sun HQ and on a west end stage to huge applause and fits of nervous laughter.

I have added to this the joy of finding in myself a writer that I never knew was there. I have written several pieces for Metro, including this one about the campaign not being against nudity or breasts but against the objectification (link - http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/22/no-more-page-3-its-not-about-the-nudity-4156908/ ). I  typed with raging fire in the belly this blog for Huff Post about the comments found below Page 3 pictures on The Star's website (link - http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/lisa-clarke/page-three-mostly-harmless-i-beg-to-differ_b_3034030.html ) and was utterly taken aback when within a few days of this being published the Star disabled the ability to comment below models pictures and deleted all the comments that were there. I believe it was at this point I realised how extra-ordinary people power could be. That a nurse from Nottingham, an inexperienced writer, could blog about these disgusting comments that reduce women to fodder to be owned, used and acted upon and that having been shared entirely through social networks of supporters this could actually bring about a real change.


The campaign's momentum could so easily have been exhausted by now but thanks to the numbers of supporters growing daily, the growth too of HQ to a team now numbering 20, filled with diversity and skill and the conviction from all of us that what we are doing is important, long overdue and right we have instead blossomed.


NMP3 is now a force to be reckoned with, it has the strong support of a huge number of groups, charities and organisations all of whom have their own reasons for wanting to see an end to page 3 (link - http://nomorepage3.org/orgsupport/ ) , it has the backing of over 150 cross party MPs (link - http://nomorepage3.org/letter-to-the-editor-signed-by-mps/ ) and an increasing number of celebrities. There is a sense of a mood change in society, that people are beginning to see the sea of sexual imagery, particularly of women, that we face in our daily lives. Our campaign has been riding a wave of feminist resurgence that dominates the newspapers on a weekly basis. Successful people power campaigns have ensured a woman will stay on bank notes, that female genital mutilation will be discussed and looked out for in UK schools. The Co-operative has been persuaded to stop selling lads mags which lack modesty covers, HMV have stopped putting sexualized soft porn images alongside boy band and Peppa Pig posters and pop stars are writing open letters to one another lamenting the overt sexualisation of female singers in the music industry.


Whilst still at times being perplexing and frustrating it is such an exciting time to be a woman in the UK. Page 3 may to this day remain in place but the number of days it is absent is increasing, rumours have been circulating of a redesign of the page , Ireland have dropped it already and an attempt this week to link page 3 with a breast cancer charity has faced a backlash of negative comments from other newspapers, bloggers, other breast cancer charities and survivors themselves.


Popular culture is questioning, the next generation are listening and campaigning themselves for the world they want to live in as adults to be different to the one they have been forced to grow up in.


No More Page 3 has inspired me, it has inspired young and old alike and has even allowed crowd sourcing of funds to financially sponsor 2 women's football teams including our own Nottingham Forest Ladies who now play with "No More page 3" on their chests promoting what women's bodies can do and not just what can be done to them.


I am honoured to be a tiny part of something really quite amazing that is happening so forgive me while I pinch myself again and, having recently spent my 40th birthday watching 3 plays in London inspired by the campaign, I wonder what new experiences the year ahead will bring, about how I will keep finding time to do my day job and if not about quite what I'm going to do with myself next.


I would like to share the secret here that I am nobody special, I am just a Nottingham lass with a bee in her bonnet. I want to tell you that you too can make a difference in whatever it is you feel passionate about, go for it, try, because you just don't know what you are capable of.


I have no idea what is coming next and I love that, I am open to all ideas though because it seems if I put my mind to it I can do just about anything, who knew.

We ask that Co-operative food do not advertise in publications which objectify and belittle women; that it stop all advertisements, marketing of or links to The Sun Newspaper whilst it has Page 3, and that in line with the Co-operative's approach on "lad's Mags" tabloid newspapers which contain inappropriate adult content be moved out of reach of children or not sold in store.
We propose that the Co-operative back the No More Page 3 campaign lobbying for an end to page 3.


We believe this proposal is in fitting with the Co-operatives ethos of fighting for the good of members and customers. it's aim to be the most socially responsible business in the UK, offering "members and customers not only value, but values."


The 6 co-operative values include -


Democracy  –   "giving members a say in the way we run our businesses" we the members ask the Co-operative to no longer endorse exploitation of women, sexism and degradation in a news publication with advertising revenue generated by us the members and customers.


Equality  –  no matter how much money a member invests in their share account, they still have one vote. We are exercising our vote to ask for equal representation in the media and ask that Co-op disassociate itself with publications which promote the opposite.


Equity –  we carry out our business in a way that is fair and unbiased. Page 3 is not fair, there is no male equivalent.




Co-op's ethical responsibilities include -
Social responsibility  –  we encourage people to take responsibility for their own community, and work together to improve it. We are taking responsibility in lobbying for a greater equality in UK media and better representation for women.


Caring for others  –  we ask Co-op to care for the young people of the UK who are affected by sexualised images they see in everyday life. NMP3 is backed by the British Youth Council, Girl Guides and Girls Brigade


Co-op's Principles include -
Education, training and information  –  co-operatives educate and develop their members as well as their staff but what are the young people of the UK educated to believe when the biggest single image of a woman in the UK's best selling paper is one of her standing in her pants for men's sexual gratification and what are they to make of the Co-operatives endorsement of putting its advertisements in the same publication?


Concern for community  –  co-operatives also work to improve and develop the community, both locally and internationally. We ask that it extend this to seeing it's responsibility in associating itself with the publication which offers women up as a sexual feature as part of the daily news.








Background information and evidence -


The No More Page3 Campaign has been gathering support from individuals and organisations over the last year and a half.
Supportive organisations include -
• Girlguiding UK (over 500,000 young members)
• Mumsnet (Mumsnet is the UK's largest website for parents, with 4.3 million monthly unique visitors)
• The British Youth Council (over 220 youth organisations)
• UK Youth (working with approx. 1 million young people, and 11,000 youth clubs
• Members of the Girls’ Brigade England and Wales (just under 20,000 members)
• The NUT, NASUWT, ATL, NAHT (combining over 780,000 teachers, lecturers and Head Teachers)
• Unison (our largest union, 1.3 million members)
• The National Assembly of Wales
• The Scottish Parliament
• The Royal College of Midwives
• The Royal College of Nursing
• 28 universities and 6 Oxford University Colleges have voted to stop selling The Sun until it drops the page 3 topless images
• Rape Crisis
• Woman’s Aid
• End Violence Against Women’s Coalition (full list available here - http://nomorepage3.org/orgsupport/)


There has been a palpable change in public mood over the mainstreaming of soft porn in public spaces and The Co-operative have been part of this movement in being the first major supermarket retailer, once again, to step up and make the ethical choice to stop sale of Lads Mags that refused to cover up their objectifying front pages.


Growing evidence is showing us that this passive, sexualised image, and its unrestricted placement, is problematic for both female and male readers of all ages and society as a whole.
Page 3:

• Derails equality and limits the aspirations and achievements of women and girls  
• Legitimises objectification of women as sexual beings and distorts body image
• Fuels a disrespectful perception and sense of entitlement towards women, underpinning sexual violence
• Undermines responsible parenting and makes a nonsense of child protection policies

Evidence to support these claims is available here - http://nomorepage3.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Research-doc-I-Effects-of-_Page-3_-type-images-on-men-1.doc
and here http://nomorepage3.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Research-doc-II-Effect-and-Impact-of-Page-3-on-Women-1.doc







We feel Co-op should remove Sun advertising until Page 3 goes because -
As a campaign we are not seeking legislation or a ban, we are lobbying the editorial team of The Sun for a voluntary removal of an image which is so harmful to so many women, and damaging to the idea of equality.
Part of that lobbying involves ethical companies recognising the damage being done to their brand by association with Page 3. We are looking to the co-op to take the lead once again on equality and equity.
At present our supporters tell us that many of them are Co-operative customers because of the organisation's ethics. They are disappointed that Co-op are choosing to associate themselves with the Sun and putting the potential profit of reaching sun readers before the potential damage caused by these sexist and degrading images in a news publication.


We propose tabloid newspapers which contain inappropriate adult content be moved out of reach of children or not sold in store because -


Whilst these images are available to children at child height it makes parents job in protecting their child from these images difficult if not impossible. The sale of the Sun and Star at child height effectively condones the promotion of soft porn where children can see it.


Workplace equality. The Equality Act 2010 states that conditions in the workplace should not be offensive to either men or women. Women now have the right to complain about demeaning images visible at work, but many still find this difficult because of the real or perceived risk of ridicule or anger. Co-operative employees and customers should not have to tolerate customers potentially picking up and opening these publications in store.

An Ode to my 30's

I entered you in silent protest, with trepidation born from a feeling of inadequacy. I was scared that I would be discovered, aware as I was that I wasn't worthy of the level of maturity that you would expect of me.


I knew I could play it OK, I felt I had spent much of my 20's playing at being a grown up but had been increasingly aware of the duplicity of it. As a teenager I had played grown up in a way which more thoroughly convinced myself but through my 20's I was, despite the throws of a stressful and responsible job and the parenting of two children, increasingly aware that I had not yet discovered who I was, what I wanted, where I was going or most importantly how to sustain any level of contentment at all.


At the turn of 30 I was married to a man I had been with since the child pretending to be oh so grown up me had met him at 16. I loved him in the way that familiarity and pattern allows you to love somebody who has been so much part of who you have become, but in my heart I knew that the biggest part of my disquiet with entering a new decade was the awareness, increasingly emerging, that I could not be the me I needed to be, could not fly, grow or be free of fear whilst I was in that relationship. I knew too that at that time I did not have the bravery to make that move. I was right. It took another 6 years.


And so we started our time together 30's with me unhappy but I felt your hand guiding me - into career changes and explorations of my sexual being, my need for expression, my abilities and strengths. I began to lay a foundation of independence that I would need to make the moves I needed. I passed my driving test, I made a network of friends who were supportive and strong. I stood up for myself at work and fought for promotions and changes.


The challenges that my parenting had given me in having children with severe allergy led me into supporting other parents in the same position and eventually into a change of direction in my nursing career. There was a reaffirmation of my academic ability and challenges faced when work colleagues became bullies but you knew exactly what you were doing - my facing of those challenges in my working life made me finally take note of the way things were at home and at 35 you had given me the strength to say the words "I wouldn't let anybody else speak to me that way so why do I put up with it from you" words born too from more lessons you had shown me about the fragility of life and the need to take our own path as I watched my mother battle cancer and lost a young friend to it for the first time. Life is too precious you said, to live so much of it unhappy and in the wrong place.


It was another year before I found the strength to end my marriage.


I may mock my less aware 20's but they had given me experience with grief and made me resilient. You, my wonderful 30's had added strength, a support network and the anger I needed to get through what I was about to do. I had to be strong and for the first time in my life I had to be quite quite cold. I felt your hand at my back pushing me through, showing me a light ahead to keep me moving forward.


I finally collapsed through the door of my new home just before Christmas into an unknown adult single life. I was scared and lonely but excited and inquisitive.


You showed me quickly that despite the new found passions of a 30 something divorcee I could not separate love from sexual intimacy. I felt a little lost and frightened that despite my bravery I would still not be complete. I was scared again, this time that you, having given me the strength to make the move which had so torn me and others apart, having torn me from the familiarity that I needed to lose you had placed me somewhat lost in a new place and left me quite alone.


I was wrong, next you did the most amazing thing of all - You opened up my heart.


You showed me wonderful 30's what you had known all this time. You showed me the thing that had carried me through all of my teenage angst, my grief ridden childbearing and my unhappy and bullied marriage and family, my mother's illness - you showed me me!


I finally saw it and felt it for the first time in earnest  - a core strength, a love that I simply had to look for to find. All I had to do was hold it, know it and trust it and I was free to be all I could be, to be truly content, to be happy.


You had given so much and I would have been happy had you left it there yet you had not finished - in having finally embraced my true self, having opened my ears, my eyes, my sense of being at one with the universe, I was able to follow the signals that I must have spent so much of my life ignoring. In trusting the universe and trusting myself the last few years of our time together has been a whirlwind of light, of action, of love and fulfilment that I would never have dared to dream of before.


I found the love of a man who met me where I stood, who made me his centre and who loves and supports me for who I am every day that he gives me.


I explored again the fun and wonder of acting and in so doing built again the strength to perform. I found a passion and an awareness of feminism and with it friendships built on sisterhood, on shared values and on truth with women who were, like me, lighting up with the wonder of self-awareness and strength.


I cannot place a value on the things I have in my life now, they are amazing each and every one. I am linked in love and wonder with so many beautiful people, I am taking a path that meanders and twists and touches places and people where I see history being made. I am totally embraced in the arms of my partner and family and I see the links with the me that has always been and the me that moves forward into new and exciting life to come.


So the time has come to say goodbye and I am brimming with tears, but not this time in fear or sadness. This time I am looking back with awe at what we have achieved together, at what we have made. I salute you 30's as I am turn my head and I walk forward in to my 40's with wonder, with excitement and with absolute faith that I am ready for whatever comes next. What a transformation.


Hello there 40, I'm ready, what's next?