Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Idol no more
There have been a number of teasers over the last few months suggesting big changes may be on the horizon at The Sun.
Ireland dropped the traditional Page 3 http://nomorepage3.org/news/statement-in-response-to-the-irish-sun/ in August of 2013 and around the same time tweets from News UK executives hinted at a redesign of the page.
Of late the traditional page 3 image seems to be increasingly missing, often replaced with celebrity photographs. Perhaps a leaning towards the "glamorous fashionista's" Rupert Murdoch himself suggested almost 12 months ago? Official Page 3 photographer Alison Webster certainly seems somewhat rattled, with tweets suggesting changes about which she is yet to be informed. Interestingly one of these changes appears to see an end to the "Page 3 Idol" competition.
(photo of tweet)
The Sun newspaper has run "Page 3 Idol" since 2002. The last in 2012 was won by 21 year old Melissa Clarke and since the announcement of her win in January 2013 there has been no further mention of the event which, for the last few years, seems to have had it's preliminary rounds in the autumn/winter.
With palpable movement of public opinion an end to Page 3 may well be likely. With or without that however the dropping of Page 3 Icon should, I feel, be welcomed.
Let's be clear about how this worked - the competition was run within the paper version of the Sun and online. It was advertised at the bottom of page 3 and invited amateur models or any young woman to complete an application form and send in a topless picture for the chance to compete for a prize that included a Page 3 modelling contract.
(add photo of page add)
Women who enter must have natural breasts and be 18 or older. The pictures they submit are displayed online and voted on by the public.
In 2012 the pattern consisted of 23 consecutive days during which "today's batch" of hopefuls had their photographs and a short bio displayed. The pictures, a mix of apparently professional quality shots with some home amateur pictures and "selfies" show young women in various semi-clothed poses.
After all "batches" have been displayed and voted upon 12 finalists are announced and are invited to have their picture taken by the official page 3 photographer, the products of which are again displayed online along with a video of the "sexy" photo shoot. Finalists are then briefly whittled down to three before the overall winner is announced.
If this competition was run within top shelf adult publications, if it were advertised in women's magazines or in those aimed at aspiring models I would think this perfectly acceptable.
However, the advertising of this life-changing opportunity to pose topless for men is advertised in a national newspaper, in the very vehicle which has potentially exposed it's fresh "batch" of would-be models to soft porn Page 3 images throughout their most impressionable years.
The much defended "free choice" to aspire to be a topless model is not a choice made in a vacuum. The problem with Page 3 Idol and one of the issues with Page 3 itself, is that The Sun markets itself as a family newspaper. It run's adverts on prime time and children's television channels, and runs offers for family holidays and toys. It features stories about boy bands that directly target teenage girls and positions these stories directly next to the page 3 topless image.
Amongst my stashed copies of The Sun (all picked up, in the hospital where I work or in other public places I hasten to add, not bought and paid for) I was able to find three copies in which the Page 3 Icon competition advert appeared. Two of these copies featured front page offers for Disneyland Paris holidays and one a free Twilight poster. One copy featured Harry Styles and Taylor Swift's relationship on page 3 next to the topless picture and competition advert.
Front page holiday and toy adds are in in bold primary colours, deliberately drawing the eye of children who may then be encouraged to pick up and look through a paper in a shop, public place or at home or perhaps to pester parents into buying.
For many young girls their first exposure to page 3 will be in their own home. In my era the models were as young as 16 and were even pictured in school uniform or posed with teddy bears. This was the paper, it told the news and my Dad bought it home from work where I had seen the pictures it featured plastered on the walls, and I knew Dad had a favourite model.
The young women who will be most aware of the Page 3 Icon competition are the ones who have watched their fathers, brothers, grandfathers looking at this titillating image, which unlike a pornographic publication is far more likely to grace the breakfast table. What have they learned about their worth as women? How many have heard male loved ones pass judgement on the model's qualities? What effect does this have on the body image and self identity of these developing girls, when the largest image of a woman in the news they see daily is one of her featured not for her contribution to that news but for her attractiveness, sexual availability and size of her breasts.
Biographies of page 3 models appearing on their own website make reference without irony, to the models ambitions to pose topless from childhood-
"Many of our girls have had a long-standing ambition of appearing on Page 3, but 32D beauty Poppy first gave the news to her parents at the tender age of 13!"
2006 Page 3 Icon winner Freya Haseldine is quoted as saying “I used to see The Sun lying around when I was a kid and think, I'd love to do that. I used to go to Page 3 straight away and dream of the day I would see myself there.'
Another - “Stunning Katie Leigh can remember looking at Page 3 when she was a kid and dreaming of appearing on the nation’s favourite page, but insists that she didn’t really believe it would happen until she started – how can we put it? – growing up!"
The uncomfortable reality being, that by "growing up" they mean "going through puberty and developing breasts”.
At present our current government seem to have noticed the mood and are keen to take action to protect our children and young people from the dangers of online pornography (reference).
When we have two government commissioned reports (link) which stress the importance of reducing children and young people's exposure to sexual imagery; and when the UK have signed up to an EU commission to reduce sexual stereotyping in our media, recognising the detrimental affect this has on the self esteem and aspirations of women and girls, why does this government action not stretch to concern over the publications which have allowed Page 3 to continue.
Not only has the Sun invited young readers in with offers, it has conditioned them to see their potential as sexual objects and then recruited them to enter what it has promoted as a short cut to stardom and success by sending in topless photographs.
As a society we react with shock and disbelief at the news of young, apparently naïve, girls who send naked selffies by text or messenger, coming as they do, under pressure from boys who have been influenced themselves by the images they see in newspapers, magazines, adverts and other media. Why are we surprised that these girls are so easily swayed and why do we think these boys have a reinforced sense of their right of sexual access to girls and to a limitless supply of naked breasts?
Whilst blame for this mind-set cannot of course all be laid at the door of page 3 or of Page 3 Idol alone, it has to be acknowledged that it has been the most public and visible encouragement to the young girls of this country to "get them out for the boys" and to the boys to see this as normal.
It seems that over the last few years of it's existence the Sun made some changes to the Idol competition which originally hosted heats in local clubs, dressing young local applicants in Sun bikinis and inviting them to dance provocatively live on stage. Video's of these events can still be found on YouTube and make painful viewing as braying crowds of men cheer their favourites or berate those who they feel do not feel fit the bill. Even on today's page 3 however readers are invited to log on to the clean-cut looking website where they can "take the girls for a spin" rotating them 360 degrees in a way that I can't help but liken to a virtual shop or cattle market.
Despite protestations that it has "always been there" Page 3 has made changes over the four decades of it's existence, some enforced as a reflection of the societal change around it. In the 1990's when the law changed the minimal age of models was increased, and given recent insight into the hidden crimes of the 1970's it would surely be unthinkable now to feature a half naked women in school girl attire for "Back to school week".
With the increasingly unavoidable voice of the No More Page 3 campaign the question is will The Sun be forced to finally clean up it's act? Or will it continue to market to children and families, convincing our girls and young women that their best vehicle to success is to "get them out" and all they need do to achieve that is to start "growing up"?
Thursday, 28 November 2013
Turning of the Tide
Something is occurring, there is a chink of light, a slow but steady turning of the tide in our UK media. It seems that the No More Page 3 campaign now has real momentum. It is not alone - Child Eyes http://www.childeyes.org/ has had some significant recent successes as have Object and Feminista's joint campaign against Lad mags http://www.losetheladsmags.org.uk/about/faqs/. When I first became involved in January of this year the highs came and they went. Flurries of activity would occur, with Murdoch's infamous tweet bringing us 20 000 signatures in one week (it could have been more if the Pope hadn't resigned) and UK Girlrguiding announcing their backing with excellent media coverage despite the demise of Lady Thatcher (Is there a conspiracy here between ex-politicians and religious leaders?). These patches of crazy activity and interest would be interspersed with quieter periods and the sadly inevitable lows of Sun articles like the Reeva Steencamp murder coverage or the comparison of a Swedish woman to a root vegetable (I kid you not).
Over the last month or so however, there has been a palpable change. With reasoned and unchallenged discussion in the Scottish Parliament http://www.independent.co.uk/student/news/no-more-page-3-campaign-boosted-by-show-of-support-from-scottish-parliament-8928739.html , the 43rd anniversary protests and a run of support from Universities and celebrities the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity in HQ.
I the meantime, as a sure fire sign that we have them running scared, David Dinsmore, current editor was once again wheeled out by the BBC to read from the "Page 3 Stays" prompt card. A stand point which rarely seems to be challenged by any depth of cross questioning. You know, bringing up awkward questions like personal editorial responsibility or addressing the body of research evidence linking sexualised images to low achievement in women and girls http://www.europarl.europa.eu/sides/getDoc.do?pubRef=-//EP//TEXT+REPORT+A7-2012-0401+0+DOC+XML+V0//EN , sexual assault and violence against women, stuff like that. That said, there did seem to be a suggestion on this occasion that the Page 3 format is not set in stone and as many an amusing visitor to our twitter and Facebook pages have pointed out, it does make sense that a page 3 of some sort has to stay. The alternative presumably being numerical upset - page 4 directly following page 2 and causing an odd spare page at the back. Anyway, whatever it was that he was trying to cryptically say without looking like he was giving in, there was Mr D again talking about the newspaper keeping a page 3. He also referred again to The Sun's recent, factually illusive focus group during which some women were, it seems, very vocal about the need to leave page 3 alone.
David seemed to want us to believe he was surprised by this. I'm not sure why he thought we would be? 43 years of conditioning, convincing a nation that a sexualised, topless picture of a young woman or girl in the newspaper is acceptable and commonplace, have had a certain affect on us all. For many they have caused body image issues, questions about our position in society, our role in our own sexual relationships. But to actually begin to see that, to start to take apart the damage of page 3 and similar images, recognise its effects relies on a certain depth of thought that our lives may or may not give us space for.
A difficult marriage, early family and several traumas saw to it that I personally reached 38 before I gave it any real thought and for many women, to question page 3 would rely on headspace they just don't have in a busy life. It could also easily be instantly shutdown by any fear of unearthing a tirade of abuse or dismantling a persona that has served them well for many years. To remove the blinkers and question the world of sexism we are part of, would mean questioning the very nature of ourselves and of those we hold most dear. For many it is an uncomfortable journey they do not want to make.
In addition there are those we have to mention who have done the thinking, who know the extent of the potential damage, but who then, perhaps for reason of personal gain, choose to ignore or bury it deep and to collude in the degradation. They may even suggest that women who question page 3 are not feminists as they are removing the choices of other women. For them I will say this - Feminism doesn't suppose that all of the individual choices women make are right, valid or to be instantly upheld simply by virtue of the fact that they were made by a woman. Feminism and the opposition to page 3 is simply the belief that women are human, just as human in fact as men and that because of this women have a fundamental human right to equal treatment and equal representation. Objectification reduces the choices of all women by reinforcing a society which aims to keep women in their place, as décor, as sex objects and not as agents of their own lives for whom abilities, talents and hard work will be appreciated in the same way as it is for men. In a newspaper I would argue it drives that message home all the harder.
The NMP3 Campaign may have been successful, as were others before it, in giving people the permission to question and the space to voice concerns. It will not however reach everyone and it will naturally make some extremely angry, as does any force of change which seeks to challenge the beliefs that lie at the foundation of our current lives.
Despite the protestations of the editor the 43rd anniversary weekend saw more people than ever take to the streets to protest against Page 3. They did so in celebration of women and many marked the occasion by making clear the things that women have achieved that could be celebrated by the media. The question has not been answered - is it really too much to ask that the media in the UK mark the achievements, the talents and the intelligence of the 50% of the population that happen to have breasts? That they represent them for all that they do and are instead of drawing attention constantly to their appearance or the parts of them which may titillate. That they stop reinforcing an idea that women are or should be sexually available at all times, whilst just a few pages away reporting with horror the rape, assault and maltreatment of hundreds of girls every year at the hands of not just adults but their peers who view them as nothing but sexual commodities to be used http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25090896.
During a "media breakfast" on at News UK on Tuesday Page Three was the first topic of discussion. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/senior-sun-journalist-reviewing-page-three-says-page-three-doesnt-have-stay-way-it and "A senior Sun journalist has revealed that Page Three may not survive in its current form". Looking to the success of The Sun at weekends when there is no traditional page 3 there was a suggestion that: “What we do in the week might change.” and that Page 3 in the UK may well go in the same direction as that of the Irish Sun and/or Rupert's proposed "glamorous fashionistas". It seems then that Dinsmore's words may to some degree be referring to the numeric alone and that page 3 as we have known it for 43 years may be about to don her last signature necklace.
Could it be that The Sun will join The Sport who are also "toning down" in their case their front page, in a last ditch attempt to hang on to newsagent shelf space amidst the growing tide of parental disquiet at the sexualised images sitting alongside the children's comics.
Following on from The Coop's refusal to stock lads mags without modesty wrappers and a growing call from celebrities and campaigners to age restrict music videos, if page 3 stops showing bare breasts will this be a landmark moment? I would say, at least to some degree it is. It would after all mark the end to a feature as we know it, which despite protest has remained largely unaltered for 4 decades. An end which will have come about due to the public's growing awareness of the consequences of objectification of women and the sheer volume of opposition. Make no mistake however, we have a long way to go before the women of this country are portrayed as they deserve to be, as thinking, feeling, contributing, achieving citizens and as agents of their own bodies. We have a long way to go before we have equal representation and until that happens we're not going anywhere.
Over the last month or so however, there has been a palpable change. With reasoned and unchallenged discussion in the Scottish Parliament http://www.independent.co.uk/student/news/no-more-page-3-campaign-boosted-by-show-of-support-from-scottish-parliament-8928739.html , the 43rd anniversary protests and a run of support from Universities and celebrities the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity in HQ.
I the meantime, as a sure fire sign that we have them running scared, David Dinsmore, current editor was once again wheeled out by the BBC to read from the "Page 3 Stays" prompt card. A stand point which rarely seems to be challenged by any depth of cross questioning. You know, bringing up awkward questions like personal editorial responsibility or addressing the body of research evidence linking sexualised images to low achievement in women and girls http://www.europarl.europa.eu/sides/getDoc.do?pubRef=-//EP//TEXT+REPORT+A7-2012-0401+0+DOC+XML+V0//EN , sexual assault and violence against women, stuff like that. That said, there did seem to be a suggestion on this occasion that the Page 3 format is not set in stone and as many an amusing visitor to our twitter and Facebook pages have pointed out, it does make sense that a page 3 of some sort has to stay. The alternative presumably being numerical upset - page 4 directly following page 2 and causing an odd spare page at the back. Anyway, whatever it was that he was trying to cryptically say without looking like he was giving in, there was Mr D again talking about the newspaper keeping a page 3. He also referred again to The Sun's recent, factually illusive focus group during which some women were, it seems, very vocal about the need to leave page 3 alone.
David seemed to want us to believe he was surprised by this. I'm not sure why he thought we would be? 43 years of conditioning, convincing a nation that a sexualised, topless picture of a young woman or girl in the newspaper is acceptable and commonplace, have had a certain affect on us all. For many they have caused body image issues, questions about our position in society, our role in our own sexual relationships. But to actually begin to see that, to start to take apart the damage of page 3 and similar images, recognise its effects relies on a certain depth of thought that our lives may or may not give us space for.
A difficult marriage, early family and several traumas saw to it that I personally reached 38 before I gave it any real thought and for many women, to question page 3 would rely on headspace they just don't have in a busy life. It could also easily be instantly shutdown by any fear of unearthing a tirade of abuse or dismantling a persona that has served them well for many years. To remove the blinkers and question the world of sexism we are part of, would mean questioning the very nature of ourselves and of those we hold most dear. For many it is an uncomfortable journey they do not want to make.
In addition there are those we have to mention who have done the thinking, who know the extent of the potential damage, but who then, perhaps for reason of personal gain, choose to ignore or bury it deep and to collude in the degradation. They may even suggest that women who question page 3 are not feminists as they are removing the choices of other women. For them I will say this - Feminism doesn't suppose that all of the individual choices women make are right, valid or to be instantly upheld simply by virtue of the fact that they were made by a woman. Feminism and the opposition to page 3 is simply the belief that women are human, just as human in fact as men and that because of this women have a fundamental human right to equal treatment and equal representation. Objectification reduces the choices of all women by reinforcing a society which aims to keep women in their place, as décor, as sex objects and not as agents of their own lives for whom abilities, talents and hard work will be appreciated in the same way as it is for men. In a newspaper I would argue it drives that message home all the harder.
The NMP3 Campaign may have been successful, as were others before it, in giving people the permission to question and the space to voice concerns. It will not however reach everyone and it will naturally make some extremely angry, as does any force of change which seeks to challenge the beliefs that lie at the foundation of our current lives.
Despite the protestations of the editor the 43rd anniversary weekend saw more people than ever take to the streets to protest against Page 3. They did so in celebration of women and many marked the occasion by making clear the things that women have achieved that could be celebrated by the media. The question has not been answered - is it really too much to ask that the media in the UK mark the achievements, the talents and the intelligence of the 50% of the population that happen to have breasts? That they represent them for all that they do and are instead of drawing attention constantly to their appearance or the parts of them which may titillate. That they stop reinforcing an idea that women are or should be sexually available at all times, whilst just a few pages away reporting with horror the rape, assault and maltreatment of hundreds of girls every year at the hands of not just adults but their peers who view them as nothing but sexual commodities to be used http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25090896.
During a "media breakfast" on at News UK on Tuesday Page Three was the first topic of discussion. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/senior-sun-journalist-reviewing-page-three-says-page-three-doesnt-have-stay-way-it and "A senior Sun journalist has revealed that Page Three may not survive in its current form". Looking to the success of The Sun at weekends when there is no traditional page 3 there was a suggestion that: “What we do in the week might change.” and that Page 3 in the UK may well go in the same direction as that of the Irish Sun and/or Rupert's proposed "glamorous fashionistas". It seems then that Dinsmore's words may to some degree be referring to the numeric alone and that page 3 as we have known it for 43 years may be about to don her last signature necklace.
Could it be that The Sun will join The Sport who are also "toning down" in their case their front page, in a last ditch attempt to hang on to newsagent shelf space amidst the growing tide of parental disquiet at the sexualised images sitting alongside the children's comics.
Following on from The Coop's refusal to stock lads mags without modesty wrappers and a growing call from celebrities and campaigners to age restrict music videos, if page 3 stops showing bare breasts will this be a landmark moment? I would say, at least to some degree it is. It would after all mark the end to a feature as we know it, which despite protest has remained largely unaltered for 4 decades. An end which will have come about due to the public's growing awareness of the consequences of objectification of women and the sheer volume of opposition. Make no mistake however, we have a long way to go before the women of this country are portrayed as they deserve to be, as thinking, feeling, contributing, achieving citizens and as agents of their own bodies. We have a long way to go before we have equal representation and until that happens we're not going anywhere.
Monday, 4 November 2013
Feminist resurgence
Introduction - 39, mother or 2, Nurse, member of NMP3 team since Jan this year
How did that happen?
I have I think always been feminist in my approach but to a point. I didn't identify as a feminist until about 3 years or so ago. I thought I assumed equality was fundamental but actually on reflection I can see that many of the things I didn't question and that I actually reinforced with my own use of language and my own behaviour were absolutely not feminist. eg. I need a man to come and do this job in my house
Then I read Caitlyn Moran and said it out loud in the bath "I am a feminist"
I started to read some bits on twitter
Not very long after that I saw the NMP3 petition and signed immediately
My Page 3 background
Working class household, page 3 at home
Linda on the wall
How that affected me - still appreciating that
Started following NMP3 of twitter and Facebook
Engaged in debates
Wrote a song
Organised demo's
Asked to Join
Lucy's burnout and appeal
Since Jan it's been a whirlwind bonkers ride of amazing experiences, stress and amazing ups coupled with a feeling of banging ones head repetitively on a wall
Support
HQ - amazing people, strong combination of motivation, talent and support, has grown and grown and will continue to . Now trying to add more diversity as its been quite organics until now and we're aware that hasn't covered all the areas we should be covering.
Why
Sexism in media, objectification in mainstream media, out of context, child protection, body image issues etc
Criticism
Why just page 3
It is none feminist because we are taking a choice away form those who wish to be page 3 models
NMP3 not anti-glamour models as a whole, not anti-porn.
For myself though I will say one thing - ( I wrote this last week after a debate where once again I was questioned by a feminist supporting page 3 about how I as a feminist could reduce the choices of other women)
Feminism for me is essentially humanitarianism
Humanitarians do not suggest that all choices of all humans are right and valid and should be supported. Humans do some terrible things and make poor choices at least as much as they make good ones, they choose to hurt other humans in direct and indirect ways.
Feminism similarly doesn't suppose that all of the individual choices women make are right, valid or to be instantly upheld simply by virtue of the fact that they were made by a woman.
Feminism isn't about women fighting against men.
Feminism is the belief that women are human, just as human in fact as men.
Feminism is the belief that because of this it is a fundamental human right that women have equal rights, equal treatment and equal representation.
Feminism fights for those rights and representations and against unequal ones.
This fight often involves standing up to the actions of men but also at times standing up to those of other women who may be reinforcing the opposite message.
Objectification reduces the choices of all women by reinforcing a society which aims to keep women in their place, as décor, as sex objects and not as agents of their own lives for whom abilities, talents and hard work will be appreciated in the same way as it is for men. In a newspaper I would argue it drives that message home all the harder.
How did that happen?
I have I think always been feminist in my approach but to a point. I didn't identify as a feminist until about 3 years or so ago. I thought I assumed equality was fundamental but actually on reflection I can see that many of the things I didn't question and that I actually reinforced with my own use of language and my own behaviour were absolutely not feminist. eg. I need a man to come and do this job in my house
Then I read Caitlyn Moran and said it out loud in the bath "I am a feminist"
I started to read some bits on twitter
Not very long after that I saw the NMP3 petition and signed immediately
My Page 3 background
Working class household, page 3 at home
Linda on the wall
How that affected me - still appreciating that
Started following NMP3 of twitter and Facebook
Engaged in debates
Wrote a song
Organised demo's
Asked to Join
Lucy's burnout and appeal
Since Jan it's been a whirlwind bonkers ride of amazing experiences, stress and amazing ups coupled with a feeling of banging ones head repetitively on a wall
Support
HQ - amazing people, strong combination of motivation, talent and support, has grown and grown and will continue to . Now trying to add more diversity as its been quite organics until now and we're aware that hasn't covered all the areas we should be covering.
Why
Sexism in media, objectification in mainstream media, out of context, child protection, body image issues etc
Criticism
Why just page 3
It is none feminist because we are taking a choice away form those who wish to be page 3 models
NMP3 not anti-glamour models as a whole, not anti-porn.
For myself though I will say one thing - ( I wrote this last week after a debate where once again I was questioned by a feminist supporting page 3 about how I as a feminist could reduce the choices of other women)
Feminism for me is essentially humanitarianism
Humanitarians do not suggest that all choices of all humans are right and valid and should be supported. Humans do some terrible things and make poor choices at least as much as they make good ones, they choose to hurt other humans in direct and indirect ways.
Feminism similarly doesn't suppose that all of the individual choices women make are right, valid or to be instantly upheld simply by virtue of the fact that they were made by a woman.
Feminism isn't about women fighting against men.
Feminism is the belief that women are human, just as human in fact as men.
Feminism is the belief that because of this it is a fundamental human right that women have equal rights, equal treatment and equal representation.
Feminism fights for those rights and representations and against unequal ones.
This fight often involves standing up to the actions of men but also at times standing up to those of other women who may be reinforcing the opposite message.
Objectification reduces the choices of all women by reinforcing a society which aims to keep women in their place, as décor, as sex objects and not as agents of their own lives for whom abilities, talents and hard work will be appreciated in the same way as it is for men. In a newspaper I would argue it drives that message home all the harder.
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
David's reply
From david.dinsmore@news.co.uk
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for your note.
Unfortunately, we don't have time for holidays here!
I'm glad you had a good weekend. I am a fan of the Guides - I was a Scout myself.
To save you any further effort, I won't be changing my stance on Page 3. It is a pillar of the paper, the readers (both male and female) like it and I do not for one moment believe it is the basis of all evil. There are, I believe, many much more worthy targets you could be turning your admirable attentions to. I will continue to enjoy the Twitter banter.
Regards
David
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for your note.
Unfortunately, we don't have time for holidays here!
I'm glad you had a good weekend. I am a fan of the Guides - I was a Scout myself.
To save you any further effort, I won't be changing my stance on Page 3. It is a pillar of the paper, the readers (both male and female) like it and I do not for one moment believe it is the basis of all evil. There are, I believe, many much more worthy targets you could be turning your admirable attentions to. I will continue to enjoy the Twitter banter.
Regards
David
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
A Woman's Worth (A message to my daughter)
I cycled home today, like I do every day or at least Monday to Friday. It's not something I enjoy if I'm honest but then it's not a nice route as its quite busy roads and lots of crappy junctions. In honesty I much prefer running and despite always describing myself as "not a natural runner" this year I ran my very first marathon and I ran it well. It took me a little over 4 1/2 hours and I didn't stop, I didn't flag, I trained hard and I got the engineering just right. My body, with hard work, did an amazing thing, it carried me 26 miles and it didn't break. I feel proud of that, just like I feel proud of the other signs of my physical fitness like my resting pulse of 50 which shows a healthy heart and yes to some degree my physique which looks really healthy.
During today's bike ride however I had a strange little moment which seems like nothing if I describe it, but it brought back a sad reminder of a bygone me I hoped to forget. I stopped at some lights in my tight leggings and a man in a white van pulled up beside me. He had clearly been looking at my arse as he pulled up and he leaned out of the window to give me a look see. I thought he was going to make some awful sexist, Neanderthal comment and I was ready for that. As an emerging feminist of about 2 years now I had a whole plethora of comebacks ready - To question his motivation, to tell him I didn't require his approval or if all else failed to "flip the birdy". What happened though was this - he pulled up, glanced from my arse to my face and pulled is head quickly back in. That is about the third time I've noticed that happen in the last 6 months and I am utterly ashamed to say it totally disarms me. It makes me sad to my core in a way I can't quite fix.
Partly it makes me sad because I realise that no matter how long and hard I have fought and to some degree succeeded in judging my merit on my health and wellbeing, my achievements and my loving and gentle character I am still cursed with the legacy of my youth - valuing myself on the positive gaze of others. I'm not talking about others recognising my nice nature here or my not too shabby singing voice but my physical appearance - them liking my face, hair, long legs and sex appeal. Those bits my Mum told me that as I "had" I should "flaunt".
What were the roots of this? Well I suppose in some ways I was lucky, don't get me wrong Cindy Crawford I was not but I have since about 14 years of age always been able to "turn a few heads" and "scrub up well". My Mum was over the moon for me. I love my Mum, she has been a constant friend and support to me all my life and I never doubted her wisdom. She was clearly proud to have a pretty daughter and all through my slightly goofy, difficult phase from 12-15 she never stopped telling me I was beautiful and that I was going to "break boys hearts".
The change started at about 14 and it was really quite unnerving at first, realising you can walk into a room and influence the behaviour of some people, realising that even though I was only a child some men were already "chatting me up" - I had no idea how to respond. If I was going to fit into this "desirable" box though, I was, as everything else in my life, going to do it bloody properly. So I started going to the gym, running and keeping in shape. I thankfully didn't start spending ridiculous amounts of money on cosmetics, waxes or spray tans (this was before the rather unnerving infiltration of porn glamour into the lives and aspirations of teenage girls) but as a keen actress I did start playing the parts I'd seen the good looking women play in films. And did I blooming play it! When I started having relationships and going out I knew how to swish my hair in a sexy way, walk across a room to show my legs off just so, roll on top of a guy in bed in a dramatic and sexy fashion so he couldn't resist. I knew about sex too, oh yes....what noises to make oohing and ahhing and making it sound good, making sure I was at the right angle or in the right underwear. Did it feel good? .....Honestly I have no idea.... I wasn't focused on that at all, all that mattered was whether or not I looked good and whether it felt good to them. That was my role after all....to look sexy and be sexy. I don't think I learned from anywhere that I was supposed to be seeking out my own pleasure, working out who I was for me, what I wanted. I can't remember anybody telling me I was supposed to want anything for myself other than to look good. The woman on my Mum and Dad's bedroom wall and in the paper every day looking sexy and available was the one the men wanted and I could be the one they wanted too. Lucky me! I never heard these women speak, I never saw women in films ask for anything during sex, they didn't need to, they all had obvious, instantaneous and vocal orgasms form vaginal sex alone.
At 16 I met the man I married at 21 and had my first child at 23. Don't get me wrong there was other stuff going on here, I'm not one dimensional. I did well in school, I passed 2 A levels, trained in nursing and had a progressive and successful career. I was professionally ambitious and I loved motherhood and breastfeeding and had some great friends. But behind it all, at all times I was not matching up if I wasn't still sexy and desirable, if I didn't still get a few shouts or horn blasts when I dressed up to go out. If I didn't get some looks when I entered a room. Within my relationship too it took me 20 years to realise I could and should want something or myself other than to be the model wife and mother and only now at 39 after a divorce, a profound aligning of my self-awareness and a new found passion for meditation and mindfulness have I really felt I know my true worth. I have finally found me, I have found feminism and a passion for campaigning that has brought me into a group of people that are beautiful to their core and alive and colourful and inspiring in a multitude of ways. My life has depth and it has colour and it has the love of a selfless and warm man who sees the whole of me completely.
I now finally understand real sense of worth and worth that I wish to instil in my own daughter.
So for you my amazing girl I will not say - "If you've got it flaunt it", "you will break some hearts", "they will all come running". For you I want more than superficial worth based on a beauty that will not stand the test of time, of grief, or even of a bad night up with a sick toddler. I want you to want more for yourself and be more yourself than I even knew to want for.
So to my daughter I will say this...
You're worth is in the beauty you have inside and out, in the warmth and generosity and time you show others. In the talents that you were born with and have nurtured and have learnt and worked hard at. In your healthy strong body that is capable of amazing things. In the people you choose to surround yourself with and the fact they have chosen you too. It is in the very moment in which you are right now, in all the ones I remember of you in my heart and all the amazing ones you have yet to come. Please amazing girl, don't ever hang it all, or even part of it, on the fickle glances of strangers who have learned, just like I did, to value the wrong things. Who will reduce your value to a horn blow or a body part or an uninvited hand on your person. If I can somehow be sure you won't ever do that and then I can be sure that you will not feel sad, in in some much younger and buried part of yourself, that you can't quite reach to fix at 39, because a man you don't even know looked and then looked away. You are worth so much more than that Aeron and so am I x
During today's bike ride however I had a strange little moment which seems like nothing if I describe it, but it brought back a sad reminder of a bygone me I hoped to forget. I stopped at some lights in my tight leggings and a man in a white van pulled up beside me. He had clearly been looking at my arse as he pulled up and he leaned out of the window to give me a look see. I thought he was going to make some awful sexist, Neanderthal comment and I was ready for that. As an emerging feminist of about 2 years now I had a whole plethora of comebacks ready - To question his motivation, to tell him I didn't require his approval or if all else failed to "flip the birdy". What happened though was this - he pulled up, glanced from my arse to my face and pulled is head quickly back in. That is about the third time I've noticed that happen in the last 6 months and I am utterly ashamed to say it totally disarms me. It makes me sad to my core in a way I can't quite fix.
Partly it makes me sad because I realise that no matter how long and hard I have fought and to some degree succeeded in judging my merit on my health and wellbeing, my achievements and my loving and gentle character I am still cursed with the legacy of my youth - valuing myself on the positive gaze of others. I'm not talking about others recognising my nice nature here or my not too shabby singing voice but my physical appearance - them liking my face, hair, long legs and sex appeal. Those bits my Mum told me that as I "had" I should "flaunt".
What were the roots of this? Well I suppose in some ways I was lucky, don't get me wrong Cindy Crawford I was not but I have since about 14 years of age always been able to "turn a few heads" and "scrub up well". My Mum was over the moon for me. I love my Mum, she has been a constant friend and support to me all my life and I never doubted her wisdom. She was clearly proud to have a pretty daughter and all through my slightly goofy, difficult phase from 12-15 she never stopped telling me I was beautiful and that I was going to "break boys hearts".
The change started at about 14 and it was really quite unnerving at first, realising you can walk into a room and influence the behaviour of some people, realising that even though I was only a child some men were already "chatting me up" - I had no idea how to respond. If I was going to fit into this "desirable" box though, I was, as everything else in my life, going to do it bloody properly. So I started going to the gym, running and keeping in shape. I thankfully didn't start spending ridiculous amounts of money on cosmetics, waxes or spray tans (this was before the rather unnerving infiltration of porn glamour into the lives and aspirations of teenage girls) but as a keen actress I did start playing the parts I'd seen the good looking women play in films. And did I blooming play it! When I started having relationships and going out I knew how to swish my hair in a sexy way, walk across a room to show my legs off just so, roll on top of a guy in bed in a dramatic and sexy fashion so he couldn't resist. I knew about sex too, oh yes....what noises to make oohing and ahhing and making it sound good, making sure I was at the right angle or in the right underwear. Did it feel good? .....Honestly I have no idea.... I wasn't focused on that at all, all that mattered was whether or not I looked good and whether it felt good to them. That was my role after all....to look sexy and be sexy. I don't think I learned from anywhere that I was supposed to be seeking out my own pleasure, working out who I was for me, what I wanted. I can't remember anybody telling me I was supposed to want anything for myself other than to look good. The woman on my Mum and Dad's bedroom wall and in the paper every day looking sexy and available was the one the men wanted and I could be the one they wanted too. Lucky me! I never heard these women speak, I never saw women in films ask for anything during sex, they didn't need to, they all had obvious, instantaneous and vocal orgasms form vaginal sex alone.
At 16 I met the man I married at 21 and had my first child at 23. Don't get me wrong there was other stuff going on here, I'm not one dimensional. I did well in school, I passed 2 A levels, trained in nursing and had a progressive and successful career. I was professionally ambitious and I loved motherhood and breastfeeding and had some great friends. But behind it all, at all times I was not matching up if I wasn't still sexy and desirable, if I didn't still get a few shouts or horn blasts when I dressed up to go out. If I didn't get some looks when I entered a room. Within my relationship too it took me 20 years to realise I could and should want something or myself other than to be the model wife and mother and only now at 39 after a divorce, a profound aligning of my self-awareness and a new found passion for meditation and mindfulness have I really felt I know my true worth. I have finally found me, I have found feminism and a passion for campaigning that has brought me into a group of people that are beautiful to their core and alive and colourful and inspiring in a multitude of ways. My life has depth and it has colour and it has the love of a selfless and warm man who sees the whole of me completely.
I now finally understand real sense of worth and worth that I wish to instil in my own daughter.
So for you my amazing girl I will not say - "If you've got it flaunt it", "you will break some hearts", "they will all come running". For you I want more than superficial worth based on a beauty that will not stand the test of time, of grief, or even of a bad night up with a sick toddler. I want you to want more for yourself and be more yourself than I even knew to want for.
So to my daughter I will say this...
You're worth is in the beauty you have inside and out, in the warmth and generosity and time you show others. In the talents that you were born with and have nurtured and have learnt and worked hard at. In your healthy strong body that is capable of amazing things. In the people you choose to surround yourself with and the fact they have chosen you too. It is in the very moment in which you are right now, in all the ones I remember of you in my heart and all the amazing ones you have yet to come. Please amazing girl, don't ever hang it all, or even part of it, on the fickle glances of strangers who have learned, just like I did, to value the wrong things. Who will reduce your value to a horn blow or a body part or an uninvited hand on your person. If I can somehow be sure you won't ever do that and then I can be sure that you will not feel sad, in in some much younger and buried part of yourself, that you can't quite reach to fix at 39, because a man you don't even know looked and then looked away. You are worth so much more than that Aeron and so am I x
Saturday, 22 June 2013
What have these bloody feminists ever done for us blokes?
A small group of blokes sitting in the pub having a chat....
...I'm sick to death of these bloody feminists. Its all you bloody hear about now. We don't like this, we don't like that. I'm up to here with it. Now they want rid of bloomin Page 3!! Page 3 I ask you?! What is the world coming to when a bloke can't even have a cheeky look at a nice pair of a morning in his paper. Well they're bleeding us dry these wimmin. They want to take everything we have, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.
.....And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.
......Yes.
......And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.
......All right, lets not labour the point. but what have they ever given us in return?
...More time with the kids?
Wha....Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
And the birth control.
Oh yes... birth control mate, remember what it used to be like used to be like. Always thinking she might get pregnant. All those kids.
All right, granted you got more time with the kids and the birth control are two things that the feminist movement have done...
And not being expected to go to war...
Well yes obviously its better that that its not assumed all men or not just men for that matter would have to defend their country at the drop of a hat... that goes without saying. But apart from more time with the kids, the contraception and not going to war...
Not being the main and only provider?...
...erm Job choices? You know...I'm a nurse, that wouldn't have been allowed.
...talking about our feelings,
What?!
Well...... you know, we can talk..... we can think about getting counselling or support...
Hmmmm...
....having sex without being expected to marry the woman!!
Oooooo Yes, all the sex is certainly one of the best bits... (general nodding)... let's face it, we're not the only ones after a bloomin good time.... know what I mean hahahhahaha
Ha ha ha yep that's true... I've had some great.....
Alright, alright I get it.
...being able to report abuse, assault or rape?
Yeah and no fault divorce - we don't have to have a reason to call it quits on an unhappy marriage now do we.
Yes that's true plus you know your girlfriend or wife is with you because she wants to be not because you own her or because she can't have her own income and property and stuff ya know...manage on her own and that.
All right... all right... but apart from birth control and time with the kids, not being the only provider, getting support and not going to war and talking about how we feel, reporting abuse, easier divorce, women being with us because they want to be and all the sex outside of marriage... what has feminism ever done for us blokes?
Erm....made it clear that women are valued?
What?
You know, your Mum, your wife, your sister - showing they are people too?!
Oh...you...you know what lets change the subject.
...I'm sick to death of these bloody feminists. Its all you bloody hear about now. We don't like this, we don't like that. I'm up to here with it. Now they want rid of bloomin Page 3!! Page 3 I ask you?! What is the world coming to when a bloke can't even have a cheeky look at a nice pair of a morning in his paper. Well they're bleeding us dry these wimmin. They want to take everything we have, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.
...More time with the kids?
Wha....Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
And the birth control.
Oh yes... birth control mate, remember what it used to be like used to be like. Always thinking she might get pregnant. All those kids.
All right, granted you got more time with the kids and the birth control are two things that the feminist movement have done...
And not being expected to go to war...
Well yes obviously its better that that its not assumed all men or not just men for that matter would have to defend their country at the drop of a hat... that goes without saying. But apart from more time with the kids, the contraception and not going to war...
Not being the main and only provider?...
...erm Job choices? You know...I'm a nurse, that wouldn't have been allowed.
...talking about our feelings,
What?!
Well...... you know, we can talk..... we can think about getting counselling or support...
Hmmmm...
....having sex without being expected to marry the woman!!
Oooooo Yes, all the sex is certainly one of the best bits... (general nodding)... let's face it, we're not the only ones after a bloomin good time.... know what I mean hahahhahaha
Ha ha ha yep that's true... I've had some great.....
Alright, alright I get it.
...being able to report abuse, assault or rape?
Yeah and no fault divorce - we don't have to have a reason to call it quits on an unhappy marriage now do we.
Yes that's true plus you know your girlfriend or wife is with you because she wants to be not because you own her or because she can't have her own income and property and stuff ya know...manage on her own and that.
All right... all right... but apart from birth control and time with the kids, not being the only provider, getting support and not going to war and talking about how we feel, reporting abuse, easier divorce, women being with us because they want to be and all the sex outside of marriage... what has feminism ever done for us blokes?
Erm....made it clear that women are valued?
You know, your Mum, your wife, your sister - showing they are people too?!
Oh...you...you know what lets change the subject.
Friday, 14 June 2013
- It seems it is somewhat of a shame that Paul Connew has never been given the honour of being editor of The Sun as if he had we would not be having to talk about page 3 in the present tense, or so he tells us in his guardian piece today http://m.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jun/13/page-3-internet-porn-damages-young-minds. Paul would have got rid of the "Page 3 girls" because they are an "anachronism" long past their sell by date. He would not however have wasted precious time and energy campaigning against it as that would be "tedious" and "disproportionate" as "The problem with is not that they are a corrupting influence on young minds, or that they turn men into rapists; it is simply that they are past their sell-by date".
In short Mr Connew is of the opinion that if we all just kept quiet the really not very important problem of page 3 girls would just go away.
I'm always made to feel immediately uncomfortable when any issue around page 3 is discussed by referring to the "Page 3 girls". I think the term in itself is problematic. It may have been appropriate at one time when indeed some of them were in fact under 18 but given that they are all of age they are in fact all now "women" and professionally speaking they are "models".
There is a very good reason why the current campaign for an end to page 3 doesn't focus on the models and that is because it is not a campaign aimed at or against glamour models, glamour modelling or pornography. What No More Page 3 aims itself at is the bizarre editorial decision made in the 1970's, to make a feature of the breasts of very young women in a daily Newspaper. Paul no doubt has a problem accepting any socially sweeping consequences of this decision, not really surprising given his career choices and gender. Why would he be aware? In contrast as a 39 year old woman who grew up with a Sun newspaper in the house daily, as a mother of a teenage boy and girl and a now insider of the NMP3 campaign it wouldn't surprise you to hear that I do have quite a different slant. My experience of the effect on personal body image and understanding of my own sexuality has been reinforced numerous times in the words of supporters. The incidence I would struggle to remember or list (as they are so numerous) of sexual harassment and common sexual assault on the street, at work and in bars is not unusual either. Mine is of course anecdotal evidence and although I see it mirrored time and time again it could be easily dismissed as invalid were it not for the fact it is backed up by evidence presented in numerous studies and government commissioned reports. These reports obviously don't point specifically to page 3, but refer to all sexualised and pornographic images and the effects of exposure. Given the accessibility of The Sun's iconic page however it could very much be used to argue that page 3 is more than an out of date, harmless embarrassment. The effects on female mental health and young women's aspirations is well documented along with the evidence of a reinforcement for boys and men of a sexist and derogatory view of women which in tern makes harmful behaviour towards the opposite sex more likely. The reason no doubt that the campaign enjoys the support of so many charities and groups fighting domestic and sexual violence against women.
Page 3 we hope may soon be consigned to the same, "did we really once think that was ok" archive to which we consigned Golly Wogs. It may, with time join the other unhelpful symbols which were once supposed harmless until we realised they undermined and misrepresented an entire section of society. It does seem massively naive however to assume that any of these changes would have occurred because people quietly waited for something to go away. Change happens because people start to speak up and ask for it. Awareness is raised, blinkers removed. Generation on generation in its own way has chipped away at the status quo of female objectification in the media and on Page 3. More recently this shift in the moral zeitgeist has gained momentum but make no mistake Mr Connew we have reached where we are today not because people were quiet but because they spoke up, they found allies and the whispers grew to shouts. No More Page 3 has never asked for parliamentary time or legislation, it does not affiliate itself to a particular party, it enjoys the support to those with the common sense and insight to realise the time has come for change. We love Caroline Lucas for having the gall to stand up and speak out about media sexism, of course we do, but we love her no more or less than any of the other brilliant people who have added their voice to ours. It's getting quite difficult to ignore isn't it, but be warned - we will not be quiet any time soon.
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